You Are Not Broken.
The world is broken. You are not. The world has fed you thousands of confusing messages around sex—from porn to pop culture to your parents.
Let it stop here, with you.
This is an invitation to restore your orgasmic power—your birthright and your truth. I pray these words—earned through a lifetime of inquiry and discovery—change you, or at least spare you the suffering I once knew.
Rethinking Sex
Sex is nothing like what our culture teaches. It’s not meant to feed our addictions, offer escape, distract us, boost self-worth, or make us feel safe. Nor is it meant to be transactional.
You can use sex for all of those things, and most people do. But when you use sex in that way, you will never experience its fullest potential or expression. Yes, you might have an orgasm, but there is a big difference in quality, depth and transmission of an orgasm that comes from those things and one that comes from something else: Truth.
Orgasm is the universe’s most honest barometer of truth.
It contains within it the codes of creation itself—a flash of divine intelligence, a lightning strike of life force carrying the blueprints of becoming. This is why we orgasm to create children, but we can create all kinds of things with our orgasmic frequency. This frequency is meant to attract you to what matters, what is best for you, what is best for the universe. The orgasm is a tuning fork that brings you to what is most true for you and expands it.
Beginning With The Body
Begin here: in the body. Start with what feels good. Feel what stirs at the base of your body. If what you feel there is tied to craving, to compulsions like porn or fixations on lust, bring gentle awareness to it. This isn’t your highest potential—not even close.
This isn’t about shame or judgment. It’s about tuning into what’s true. What feels good in your body? What feels like truth in your body? Start there. Even start by feeling the frequency of your name.
Try this: say your name out loud. Again. And again. Until you feel it resonate, all the way down into your sexual organs. That’s the vibration of truth.
Then begin speaking truths—small ones, deep ones. Notice how they expand that vibration. That’s your body recognizing truth. That’s the beginning of orgasmic alignment.
My Personal Journey
When I was younger, I really thought I might be broken sexually. The first time I had sex I was violated by someone, so I thought that I might actually be…broken. I was riddled with thoughts that it was too difficult to bring me to orgasm, so I hid that fear with a lot of theater and pretending.
Then, when I got divorced, I was thrust into modern dating. I was uncomfortable with how casual sex became, but was told by pretty much everyone that this was the evolution of ‘love’ and to get with the program.
But something in me still didn’t feel right. So I did what any medicine woman would: I took my question to the grandmother herself—ayahuasca.
Here is what I saw:
A Vision
In a vision, the grandmother brought me into the world of casual sex. It was the world where everyone is ‘liberated,’ where hooking up is framed as ‘empowering.’ What I saw there was tremendous suffering.
People weren’t real in that world. The amount of pretending, the depth of the lies—it was astonishing. But beyond that, I was shown that what people are calling liberated attitudes—the supposed “evolution of love”—were actually addictions in disguise. Underneath it was not evolution at all. There was suffering.
She told me something that shook me. In this lifetime, we all face a single, essential decision. In some ways, it’s the only decision that truly matters: Will you wake up? If you choose awakening, then truth becomes everything. Awakening is truth-telling. Accepting truth. Across every layer of your life.
Even sex, she said, belongs to truth—if I choose it. It was up to me to place sex on the altar, too. Are you all in for awakening? Or are you going to leave part of you to the side?
When she asked me that question, I knew in my heart: I would give it all to truth—even sex.
What happened after was miraculous, but the miracle is yours, too, if you want it. I’m not special. I’m not gifted. I’m just a woman who said yes to truth. I was shown how to access the orgasmic frequency—how to experience orgasm without even needing to be touched.
It has nothing to do with stimulation at all. It is only about truth. Your orgasm is waiting—longing—to be connected to truth. Here is how to begin:
Awakening Through Sex
These practices are for those who have chosen awakening as the purpose of this holy lifetime. If that’s not your path right now, let them pass you by. Though this is written with partnership in mind, the same principles apply to self-pleasure.
- Be Mindful With Whom You Have Sex
Every partner leaves a trace—an energetic cord—whether you’re aware of it or not. - Be Mindful of Your Intentions
Know why you are having sex. Are you feeling lack? Longing for love, safety, validation, or relief from anxiety? Liberate sex from having to fulfill those needs for you. Or perhaps you’re having sex with someone who isn’t right for you, but you stay because it feels safer than being alone—stop. That’s not liberation. How can your orgasm be liberated if you are using it as a transactional tool of safety? - Sex is a Ceremony
This doesn’t mean it needs special music, incense, or to last for ten hours. It means something in you—or your partner—can heal each time. - Allow Healing Through Sex
There is always something new that sex can heal. There is no end to attraction if you can begin to make this connection. What do you respect, admire, and want to bless in your partner—and in yourself—right now? What new thing would you like to make love to? Make love to what is appearing in yourself and your partner right now. What is wanting to bloom inside you both? That is what you make love to. - Tell the Truth
So many people are doing theater in the bedroom. Don’t be one of them. When we pretend, we override our nervous systems. Guess what that leads to? Feeling numb. Numbness is the most common confession I hear from women in healing ceremonies. You are not alone. The remedy is simple: tell the truth. As long as you lie, the numbness will persist. It’s your body’s way of protesting the performance.
It’s simple to tell the truth. Don’t make a complicated story about it. It’s simple. “I feel disassociated right now, do you mind if I take a moment to breathe?” Keep telling the truth about what you actually feel, and then be present with it by making space for it and using breath, mindfulness and faith to let it heal.
Healing is a real time sport when it comes to sex. This stage won’t last forever, but can be quite long if there is a lot that wants to unwind in how you have overridden your body. Don’t rush it. - Cultivate the Connection Between Truth and Orgasm
Begin to grow the thread that connects orgasm and truth. When your life is devoted to awakening, your orgasm becomes an amplifier. If truth begins to feel erotic—magnetic—then your orgasm becomes a transmission of raw, radiant truth to your partner.
A Note to the Woman Who Thought She Was Broken
You are not broken
Tell the truth about what you feel, moment by moment—even if it feels strange or inconvenient. Trust that process. This is how you undo the years of silencing your body’s truth.
Forsake using sex to soothe, distract, or validate. Instead, dedicate it to your awakening.
If feeling anything at all feels impossible—if numbness feels like a wall—you’re not alone. In some cases, small amounts of cannabis, used with intention and in a ceremonial context, can help soften the walls. It can bring you back to presence—help your body feel truth again.
In Everything We Trust,
Sylvia Solit
